You Go On, I'll Catch Up
by TheeKozakura
Summary: "Aren't you coming with?" "you go on, i'll catch up" based on the events of 4x12 unchained with scenes and quotes from season three episodes. oliverxthea brother/sister. Companion piece coming soon(hopefully!)


**A/N: Hey guys i am so sorry its been so long since my last upload. I know i have made many promises and i apologize for not delivering on any of them. I have been away at college and have been really busy, also there are a few personal reasons as well. I appriciate all of those people continued to read and leave reviews while i have been gone. I promise I have been writing even though i haven't been posting anything, and after many months i decided to share with you all my new arrow fanfic! This is an OliverxThea fanfic based on the events of 4x12 unchained!**

 **Alright well enough from me! Happy reading to you all and don't forget to review!**

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" _Aren't you coming with?"_

She looks worried, confused, and maybe still a little out of it. It tears him up inside, it breaks his heart that he can't go with her, that from here on out she is on her own. Not really though she'll have Diggle, Felicity, Laurel, and Malcolm. Still he wishes he could go too, to be there to take care of her, to tell her he loves her, but he can't. He fights back tears as he pulls her into his arms. He kisses the top of her head, and tells her he loves her.

" _I love you speedy"_

He didn't know, how could he have known, still he feels it's his fault…somehow. First came the blood lust, her desire to kill, even though she never wanted to harm a person let alone kill someone. Until Nanda Parbat and Malcolm Merlyn. The three men she was forced to kill helped subdue her blood lust for a little while, but it didn't last, and then the Damien Darhk fiasco happened. She tells him later on that she ran into Darhk, and he tried to use his "freaky touch of death" on her, but for some reason it back fired and her blood lust vanished. He wants to find Damien Darhk, he want to see if Darhk will help because he believes that if Darhk can do it once than he can do it again. She looks at him with her tired eyes and said no. He still wants to find Darhk, and Malcolm wants her to kill, but then she says something, something he's heard before.

" _My life, my choice"_

Merlyn says that if she doesn't kill she'll die. He knows she won't kill, not only because she told him so, but because he knows her, and he knows she never could. So instead the Lazarus Pit is taking her life, and now she is lying in a hospital bed. She's in a coma her doctors said, and he sits down in the chair next to her bed and take her hand in his. He pleads with her not to leave him because he can't lose anyone else, he doesn't want to lose anyone else.

" _Please don't leave me Thea"_

He doesn't know if she heard him, or if she even can, but he hopes she does just like how he hopes she'll fight, that she'll come back even though doubt has settled in the back of his mind, gnawing at him, saying… she's won't.

He continues to hold her hand in his while continuing to place the blame for this solely on himself, because in his mind this is somehow his fault, but what if it wasn't? How could he have known all of this was going to happen? If he did know this was going to happen would he still have used the Lazarus Pit on her? Almost instantly he knows he wouldn't have, that he would never intentionally subject her to that, or any of what happened after that. The nagging voice in his head, the one drowning in doubt and darkness says _"but you didn't have a choice"_

He can hear her voice in his head and it sounds warm and gentle but somehow firm at the same time, and he can hear how tired she is, and at the same time there isn't a single trace of anger in her voice. He hears her, she's saying the same thing she's told him before.

" _Ollie it's not your fault"_

He doesn't believe her, just like last time, but then he thinks about her and how she doesn't believe it's his fault, so for once, in this instance he's going to try and believe that too, He's going to try for her. He kisses the top of her hand, the one that he's holding in his and he tells her he loves her.

" _You go on, I'll catch up"_

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 ** _A/N: hey guys i hoped you liked my first arrow fanfic and please don't forget to review! I just wanted to let you know that i am working on a companion piece to this story for RoyxThea which is also based on the events of 4x12. Hopefully that will be coming sometime soon!_**

 ** _Also the reason that there is no mention of the Nyssa scenes with oliver in the hospital is because this fic was written before that episode aired, and i didn't want to go back through and change it later._**

 **thank you to all of you guys who took the time to read this story and leave a review and hopefully i won't take to long between uploads this time! See you all soon!**

 **~TK**


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